he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize