in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Randomize
