Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Randomize