Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Randomize
