yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
