before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
