dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
