how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
