I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Randomize
