He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
