Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
