i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Randomize
