all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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