I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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