'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
