i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
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