If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
