Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
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