Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize