Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Enjoy the penises
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Randomize
