so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Randomize
