forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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