The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
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