my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
