STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Randomize
