I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
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