come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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