Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Randomize
