There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Randomize
