Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
