I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Randomize
