I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
