shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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