Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
