A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Randomize
