Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
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