super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
No more Irish car bombs ever.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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