I think I just saw someone hide a body.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
