time to smoke my breakfast
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
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