just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
