P.S. I can't hear my feet
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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