Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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