I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
