Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
