just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize