First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I wish there were birth control emojis
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I think my moral compass just broke
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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