i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
