you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
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