im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
