Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
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