after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Randomize
