My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
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