he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
