So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
My butt remains clenched, sir.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Randomize
