i don't like sucking hair
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
