I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
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