I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
