It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Randomize
