maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Randomize
