He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
As shirtless as possible
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
